I’m an absolutely lousy teacher.  I remember when my girls were in elementary school I told them to go see their mother when they needed homework help.  I did tell them, however, that when they got to high school they could come see me for geometry help.  (I’m a geometry genius.)  So that time came, and they showed me their geometry problem, and I gave them the answer.

“But how did you get that answer?”  they would ask.

“I dunno.  It’s just the answer, trust me.”

“But what geometric law did you use?”

“Huh…geometric law?  The Law of I SAID SO!”

I flat couldn’t teach them.

This came back to me tonight when K asked me to show her how to use chopsticks.  Most at our table last night at Benihana’s used chopsticks, but several, including K, used western utensils.  Today at Central Market she bought some, and tonight was Chopsticks 101.

Again, I couldn’t teach.  ”Just hold ‘em like this and eat.”

Poor thang tried and tried, but thanks to my teaching ineptitude, she had to resort to a little piece of wadded up napkin and a rubber band:

It was either that or I was gonna eat all the sushi myself.

So I’m still battin’ .1000.  You want something done, you give it to me.  You want me TO SHOW YOU how to do it, fuggetaboutit.  

S

I washed the sheets on the bed this morning and now I’m trying to put them back on.  Bottom  sheet, top sheet, no problem.  Now we come to the duvet.  A duvet, I have learned, is a decorative bag that you put a comforter inside of.  So how do you get the comforter inside from bunching up at the foot of the duvet?  Everything at your feet, nothing up higher.  I start cussing.  K says, “but it’s pretty.”

Yeah, so’s dog shit, just sittin’ there steaming on freshly fallen snow, but it’s still shit.  Grrrrr!

S

…..but you gotta hit that sumbitch juuuuuust right!  (It’s an old Gallagher line.)

It’s gonna be another scortcher today.  I think I’ll go for a swim.  I’d better hurry, though, before all the pool water boils off.

Last night we combined our birthday dinners (mine actually isn’t until next month) and went to Benihana’s.  It’s only a few blocks away, but arriving sweaty probably wouldn’t endear us to our tablemates, so we drove. As always, it was wonderful…the food and the show:

We both had the fillet and lobster tail, along with the customary shrimp and “other stuff”.  Throwing caution to the wind, I even tried some bait….er….sushi.  I liked!  

Today we go on the extreme austerity budget, socking away money into an emergency fund.  Don’t ask.  Hope y’all have a good day.  Stay cool.

S